Falling Forward into Peace

So, this is why I haven’t been here for a while. It’s a long story, but with a happy ending, with me falling forward into peace. Here’s what happened.

I opened the door and strode purposefully across the church’s kitchen floor. My mind was on completing our last tasks of the morning. When suddenly, like in a bad movie, my world started to move in slow motion. Falling forward into peace had begun.

Life Changes Quickly: Falling Forward into Peace Begins

I remember the thought that flitted through my mind: if only I could push rewind. And then a thud. As I lay on the floor, just past the slick spot on the tile, my hand explored my forehead – and the bump that was growing with startling speed.

A whirl of activity followed: emergency department visit, MRI, x rays. And then – a lot of rest.

Plans had to be changed, goals scrapped, and appointments canceled. Did I mention a lot of rest? 😊

This was not where I wanted to be. But, in the ensuing quiet, I was able to think and begin to process, albeit slowly.

Although I did not feel peaceful at the time I now see that I was moving forward into peace.

I reflected on the multitude of good things that had happened.

Thankful

I was surrounded by love from the moment my head hit the floor.

My sweet friend Sarah Gay drove me to the hospital and stayed the entire time! She contacted friends and they all began to pray. She returned my car and even brought food!

My husband Dan threw himself into caregiver and chief encourager mode.

I received cards, calls, and texts from family and friends.

And, my injuries could have been much worse.

I was so thankful! I even felt peaceful. Well, maybe some of the time.

And yet, when I was alone, I slid into discouragement. What about my plans? I was feeling frustrated, unproductive (and frankly, lonely). I even wondered why this fall had happened?

Have you ever felt like that?

I know this was only going to be a temporary set-back. You may well have had worse. I know I have.

But this time was different, I learned more. This time I approached the learning intentionally, less reluctantly. With my foot pushing less on the brake of progress.

First, (finally) following the advice of my husband, I accepted where I was. I stopped minimizing the effects of my fall. I started to honestly share how I was doing.

Realizing while not life-threatening (my bar is high 😊) my situation was serious, allowed me to realize it was important to learn from my situation.

I wanted to come away not only healed but armed with new knowledge would positively change my life. Falling forward into peace was speeding up.

God’s Unchanging Nature Propels me in Falling Forward into Peace

Remembering who God is was key to this process.  My starting point was God never changes. Therefore, what I have learned about Him in the past is still true today.

Certain attributes of God stood out more clearly than others. I turned them over in my mind. I saw how God was showing them to me in this situation.

His attributes of:

• Goodness
• Love
• Gentleness
• Provision
• Protection

I know He is good – always.

While my situation was unfortunate, and unexpected and well, maybe even a little unfair. I know God’s goodness does not change.

”And we know that God causes everything to work together  for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 (NLT)

He did not cause my situation. I am not sure why He let it happen.  But I know that good will (and has already) come out of it.

He is always loving and gentle, regardless of what is going on around me.

When I considered this and remembered all the times in the past He has been loving and gentle my muscles relaxed. I became gentler with myself and no longer felt pressured to be productive.

I allowed myself to rest, and as a result, experienced peace.

He is my protector and provider.

God abundantly provided, more than I needed from start to finish in the journey to recovery. From an expedited visit to the emergency department to the provision of food, and encouragement at just the perfect time, His provision is amazing to reflect on!

Protector, you might ask, even after a fall? Yes, I am convinced and so were my doctors, it could have been much worse. God was my protector.

A Soft landing After Falling Forward into Peace

As I leaned into who God is the frustration of my reduced activity and my perception of the slowness of time slipped into the background of my mind. And then disappeared; replaced by peace.

I found rest and joy in the LORD. This verse sums it up. I particularly like the last sentence.

“You have been my constant helper;
    therefore, I sing for joy under the protection of Your wings.
 My soul clings to You;
    Your right hand reaches down and holds me up.” Psalm 63:7-8 (VOICE)

I believe He does reach down and support us when we need it. I felt like he was walking with me holding me up in the early stages. Then holding my arm later; gently slowing my pace.

He was protecting me, from myself.

He loves us intensely. God cares about what is happening in our lives. And He acts for our good.

Music helps me process and understand truths. This song helped me a lot while I was recovering. (In fact, it still plays in the background of my mind at times.) You might enjoy it too.

God revealed Himself to me during my recovery time. Although I would not have asked to take a heavy fall on a hard floor, I drew closer to God because of it. I can honestly say that my physical fall resulted in me falling forward into peace.

The peace that comes from knowing God on a deeper level and drawing closer to Him.

I am doing really well. I no longer sport the look of a unicorn with an off-centered horn, I can breathe deeply and move freely. I am enjoying life.

It is good to be back! I am glad you stopped by.