How to Love When You Feel Surrounded by Hate

I want to treat everyone around me with respect and love. I really do. But sometimes, as hard as I try, I find myself slipping into resentment or offense. From there, it’s a quick slide away from love. I searched for the answer to how to love when you feel surrounded by hate. Here’s what I’ve found.

Why is it Even Necessary to Love When You Feel Surrounded by Hate?

Honestly, I feel overwhelmed by hateful words or dismissive attitudes. Showing love is not my first thought. But when I counter with harsh words or by filling my mind with resentment, I feel unsettled and disturbed.

Our culture teaches the Golden Rule: “Do unto others what he would have them do unto you.”

So, is that how I would like to be treated? No!

Jesus takes this rule to a higher level when he answers the question, “Which is the most important commandment?”

“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’³¹ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’No other commandment is greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31 (NLT)

There are no restrictions on who your neighbor is in the second commandment.

By implication, I believe this means everyone.

This leads me to the root of my feelings of disappointment in my response to hate. I am failing to follow one of the greatest commandments.

That discovery got my attention.

I want to obey Jesus. But I’ve tried so many different strategies.

I’ve worked hard at being compassionate. Attentive listening is important to me, especially when I strive to understand new ideas.

Diversity in thoughts or ideas is not problematic in itself, and in fact, may lead to creativity.

Yet, when the expression of thoughts is a deluge of hate-filled words my good intentions stop. I am not able to think or act with love.

Do you experience that as well?

Are we doomed to fail at loving all our neighbors?

Great News!

Will we always be unable to show love when surrounded by hate? No!

But as I have found, and maybe you have too, it will not be by trying harder.

Andrew Murray points us to this verse:

^“Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” Matthew 19:26 (NLT)

 At first glance, this may seem overly simplistic.

But Andrew Murray says that it is often when we have tried everything we can think of without success, that we turn to God and ask for His help. He compares it to being at rock bottom. And it is at that point that God’s will give us the desire and the ability to do what is impossible.[i] In this case, to love our neighbor, even that one.  

I am definitely there right now.

He makes another point that speaks directly to me and maybe to you as well. He stresses we cannot rely partially on our own abilities and partly on God. We must depend exclusively on Him.

When we do, He will give us all that we need. Just as He did with Moses, Abraham, and Peter.

I’ve started to rely on God by asking for His view of the other person. The act of conversing with God in prayer infuses me with peace, which helps me love. Praying for His words in interactions, and patience has also helped me tremendously.

I believe that relying completely on God is the answer to the question, “How can you love when you feel surrounded by hate?” It’s not my first response, but I’m going to keep practicing until it is.

How about you?

(You can read more about letting God work here.)

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[i] Andrew Murray, “Absolute Surrender(Updated and Annotated): The Blessedness of Forsaking All and Following Christ (Aneko Press), pp 91-93.