The expression on my husband’s face fell, and so did his mood. The words I had spoken were to blame – again. Guilt coursed through my body. I had let my feelings about something completely unrelated to our conversation spill over into what I was saying. With that, I knew I wanted to change. Let me share what I’ve learned in 3 steps to a peaceful home.
Not long afterward, we lost our internet connection due to a storm. Of course, I called our IT expert and son Tim. He told me I could use my phone to turn the house into a Wi-Fi hot spot.
The tiny device could broadcast an internet signal, with one quick setting change. An adjustment that would dramatically change the atmosphere in the house from frustration to relief, just like my words changed the atmosphere. (But, sadly, my words brought a negative result)
Which makes me wonder, could I turn my house into a different kind of hotspot? Could I, through my words and attitude, spread Jesus’s peace and love and change the atmosphere in my home?
I thought it was worth a try. Here are the 3 steps to a peaceful home, that I discovered.
Step One: Identify the Problem
After taking a look, I discovered for me, my problem starts in my thoughts, especially when my thoughts are filled with worries or concerns. Without even noticing, they affect the tone of what I say, as well as the words. And that causes a change in the atmosphere in my home. (And not the kind I want), Let me show you what I mean.
I was feeling stressed about an upcoming deadline. Instead of dealing with the stress, I allowed it to brew. The pressure I felt increased.
Left long enough, feelings under pressure erupt. And they did. The spillover of my anxiety infected my words (which were a little less than patient) and my tone (that bristled with resentfulness).
Step Two: Take My Thoughts to God
I realized, before opening my mouth, I need to take my thoughts to God. To make sure that my thoughts line up with God. Here’s what Paul says:
“and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” 1 Corinthians 5:10 b (NIV)
A quick check may reveal that my thoughts are rouge, not lining up with what I know is true. I know that is where the trouble starts for me.
Am I allowing my thinking to drift into fear, greed, bitterness, jealousy? Honestly, yes, sometimes.
This leads me to feel unrest instead of peace. If left unchecked everyone around me will feel that unrest too.
But once I find the cause of the discontent, I can re-align my thoughts with who God is.
- He is my Protector in any situation. There is no need to fear.
- God is my Provider, who will give me all I need when I need it. There is no reason to grasp for more or want what others have.
- Jesus is my Savior and Redeemer. He has freely poured the grace of forgiveness over me. As a result, I want to forgive others. If I am bitter against someone, He will enable me to forgive even the most difficult hurt.
Step Three: Monitor my Thoughts
Just like other areas of life, a little maintenance goes a long way. I struggle with this concept in other areas of my life.
I would rather spend my energy and time going on to something new.
But, I’ve found, and maybe you have too, that ultimately time I spend maintaining things allows me opportunities to do what I love later.
Some of what I love is having peaceful relationships. I want to leave people encouraged and, if possible, in a better place. It is my hope that they will come to me with problems and concerns, so I can help.
Monitoring and maintaining my thoughts will go a long way toward achieving these goals.
But how?
This verse gives us a framework.
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Philippians 4:8 (NLT)
I used to think this was impossible! That the goal was too lofty.
But now I’m finding, if I pay close attention to the nudges of the Spirit, I can change what I think about. A little bit at a time.
And the more I think about, or meditate, these things, the more I gravitate to them.
Progress, not perfection, is definitely what I am living. I can’t say honestly say that everything I say or do makes my home a calm retreat.
But, as I change the things I think about, I do feel more peaceful. And slowly, my conversations are more encouraging and helpful.
Here , are some more tips on getting more peace into your life.
My home is becoming more of a peaceful spot, and I hope a hotspot for Jesus.
Taking these 3 steps toward a peaceful home is working for me. Maybe you would like to give them a try.
Let me know what you think. I’d love to hear.